On February ninth, Peter “Plumpkins” Lumpkins posted a second tribute to Dr. Roy Hargrave, a Florida pastor who is also a Calvinist. Why? Because he has a man-crush on him it seems. Plumpkins seems to have the affection for the 5-pointer because he isn’t necessarily counted among the young, restless and reformed. Presumably because he isn’t young and restless. At least to Plumpkins he isn’t.

Plumpkins laments the fact that Hargrave has not been asked to speak in chapel at Southern and Southeastearn seminaries, but appears to be completely comfortable with the fact that he has not spoken at the chapels of Southwestern nor New Orleans. Plumpkins then exclaims, “This seems incredibly fantastic to me.” Next, one may guess, Plumpkins will be uttering the same thing while watching “Dr. Who” or the Lifetime Movie Network.

Following upon the heels of this lament is the wonderment that Hargrave has never spoken at an SBC Pastor’s Conference. With that alarming statistic, the Florida 5-pointer joins the company of about 44,000 other pastors.

But do not miss this simple fact: if this Calvinist pastor had been asked to speak at an SBC Pastor’s Conference it would merely have been evidence of the Calvinist takeover about which Plumpkins would have been beating the drum non-stop with his face. Plumpkins reasoning is like that of Darwinists: it matters not what evidence is introduced, the theory can morph to fit it. This means the theory is no theory at all, but layer upon layer, pound upon pound of speculative nonsense.

A day later, as surely as Goofy follows Pluto, Tim “Roger Dodger” Rogers also posted praises to this Hargrave insisting the Florida pastor was someone with whom he (Rogers) could witness. That’s good to know since the SBC has enough non-Calvinist pastors who never share Christ with anyone. Perhaps both Plumpkins and Roger Dodger will put their actions alongside their declarations and invite their new crush to come preach from their own pulpits. That would seem incredibly fantastic to everyone.

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