Besting even his best speculative efforts, a few days ago Plumpkins decided to “expose” the nefarious workings of the SBC name change committee, led by such dastardly Calvinists as Jimmy Draper and Paige Patterson. Following the normal false premises and tangential points, he all but assured readers that the proposed changed name of the SBC will be either the Evangelical BaptistConvention, the Continental Baptist Convention or the International Baptsit Convention. How did he come to such an insightful conclusion? Because the domains evangelicalbaptistconvention.com, continentalbaptistconvention.com and internationalbaptistconvention.com were purchased last fall within a week of each other. Why is this significant?

Besides the fact that it isn’t and most likely some good old Southern Baptist is squatting on them, that last one was purchased by a guy who attends a church in Arkansas. The pastor of that church is Ronnie Floyd, who chaired the Great Commission Resurgence Task Force some time back. Here is how it goes: SBC studies name change -> potential names are leaked to Ronnie Floyd -> Ronnie Floyed tells a random church member -> that church member buys at least one (but possibly three) domains -> church member makes a killing selling domain names to SBC.

Clear? If that line of goofiness is too hard to follow, Plumpkins then says,

However, the word I’m getting from very reliable sources is, Wright’s “task force” is going to propose as possibilities these three names.

One of the names is obviously a fluke. The term “continental” is so fundamentally archaic not to mention over-used, it has to be a “dummy” option the sole purpose of which is to give the appearance that “you have a choice,” but those proposing it obviously know few would find that choice attractive. Hence, the hope is, people “choose” the option opposite the “dummy” option. That’s what some leaders do when they want one thing but also want the appearance of group involvement. Emphasis added.

It really doesn’t take much effort to see who the “dummy” is in this fiasco.

Thankfully, Plumpkins give us a measure by which to gauge his effort. This tiring speculative gabfest is affirmed by “very reliable sources.” When all this come down like a Styrofoam fort in a hurricane, maybe someone will suggest a good Old Testament stoning. It can’t come soon enough. Sounds like Plumpkins has been stoned already.

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